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Monday, February 1, 2010

I aint no MckMama, or the post in which i sigh. A lot…

Obviously, I aint no MckMama. You can tell this by my non-blogging.

I would like to be keeping a record of this time (or, maybe secretly I wouldn't) but am just ….ugh…. who knows.


Some days I come home so happy, over something as little as *she had her 1st bottle* at 6:30am 2 days ago or something HUGE like

*we have breastfed for 3 days in a row, only for 10 minutes, but still so thrilling I cried*


she put on 60grams last night!!

But then she will vomit (bad apparently, and she always vomits up her vitamins) or my milk will dry up (seems to be ok now, but  stressful,which is bad,which makes me stress more)….


I am just all over the place. If I'm at the hospital, i feel guilty leaving the other kids, if I'm home i feel like I'm abandoning the bean.


It has been 12 days. Yesterday, an open cot was mentioned….if…she gets her feeding sorted.


I heard the ‘staff assist’ buzzer today, and mourned my last few months of pregnancy.


I just want her home so badly



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