photos… its been a while…Ive missed you!

Frustration

With the public health system. Having my apparently non-urgent ultrasound pushed back to tomorrow. Frustration. With doctors who are unconcerned. With bed rest orders, then ‘don't bother’ instructions.

However…. i finally saw a doctor who told me something! She explained that the risk now (apart from premature labour) is that the baby will not have enough room to grow properly. ( this fact, together with the fact I've put on exactly one  and a half kgs -at 26 weeks- scares me a little) So they will finally (after me in tears)  do another ultrasound to check the hematoma, and beans growth. They are also doing blood tests to check how much blood i have actually lost.

I was all set to write a huge happy blog last week. After my bed rest was lifted ( as it was making no difference at all), and an ultrasound and blood tests  scheduled, I was feeling great. Had a big week, Jais godfather visited and we went to SeaWorld, and the beach and Britney Spears ( soooo bad, it was great haha… the lip syncing, the huge delays, the awful dancing, just great!) , then Thursday, I hit the wall, and have slept for the last 3 days.

I will update tomorrow night after ultrasound and blood tests. Beanie has made it past 26 weeks, and although i am still bleeding, and I'm thinking anaemic, she is such a strong little girlie, always kicking me. Go hard baby girl, only 13 weeks to go:) I am currently swinging from hugely confident to massively depressed. Hence my erratic blogging, and total lack of commenting. I miss all your blogs, and i hope after beanie arrives safe and sound, i can get back into the swing of things:)

will post some photos later, finally put my baby in to be fixed * remember when Rani stood on my beloved camera and broke the screen?* he will be ready in 2 weeks (and much cheaper than I thought), I cant wait, finally some good news!

Its beginning to feel like Christmas around here… Jai asks every single morning, “is it Christmas now?'” It will be  along 25 days…

The view

from bedrest –when I can- is reassuring.

I should have updated you before now, but i really dont know anything!

I am frustrated

and cranky

do not want to blog

or take pictures (major for me)

or answer the phone

or talk to people

or doctors

or deal with this.

Me and beanie have been to hospital, where they said I was not bleeding anymore, but come back if it starts again. I WAS still bleeding, and haven't stopped!

They would not do an ultrasound

‘maybe Monday’

Back to the hospital in the morning, no more GP for me, its all hospital appointments.

I am so scared.

We made 25 weeks beanie girl, just stay put for a few more please.

Tuesday

 

I feel so weak and worn out.

I have been lying around all day.

Its hot, really hot.

Hubby is at work.

The house looks like a bomb has hit it.

The bleeding is getting worse.

I have a doctors appointment first thing in the morning.

I am scared.

Beanie is still kicking away.

That is good.

I am still waking up to be sick.

That is good too.

I have made 24 weeks, so beanie would survive if the worst happened.

That is amazing!

Back tomorrow xxx

MIA

Missing in action. That's me. Complete failure at the whole ‘post every day for 30 days’.

Hanging over my head has been the doctors warning- ‘the only risk is between 24 and 31 weeks,of premature labour’

I have had no bleeding since week 19 and a bit.

Reached 24 weeks on Saturday.

Tonight, the bleeding has started again. Right on cue.

It is not a great time for us, with Christmas and the new school year coming up, hubbys hours have been halved.

I am tired of always worrying.

About Beanie. About money. About Christmas and having 4 kids in school next year and how we will manage. About hubbys job. About the fact that right now, i feel as tired as i can remember being, and its only going to be worse when bean arrives. Will i cope?Will I ever actually be a photographer, or is it just an insane dream?

I am tired.

I am sick of whinging.

I just want to be able to relax again.

I will make a doctors appointment tomorrow.

Its my blog and ill sook if I want to

*praying for Stellan and MckMama *

Do you know what sook means?

Spent the majority of today like this

for no apparent reason. Aaaah , hormones…

A new perspective

Fine. Ill admit it. I suck at posting. 

But, technically, it doesn't say, 1 post per day. So, I may be cheating, but I'm doing my best,haha.

 

Can you guess what Im doing? :)

Fatboys (belated) 2nd birthday pictures.

*in case you cant tell, when everyone started singing Happy Birthday, Fatboy started crying*

Letters Of Intent

Courtesy of Julie….

Dear sons,

You know the roll of toilet paper does not GO IN the toilet right? So, why am I repeatedly pulling soggy almost full rolls out? Its bad enough we buy the giant economy sized packs- that I am yet to EVER see anyone else buying at our local grocery shop- but now I have to go get MORE!

And you know, when you get up at 5am, maybe you could just watch cartoons or eat breakfast, as opposed to having complicated,prolonged,noisy car races.

I get the whole obsession with bugs thing, you being boys and all, but forgive me if i do not appreciate a cockroach or a spider being shoved in my face while I sleep.

If you didn't eat in my bed, that would be great too.

On the other hand, you two boys crack me up everyday. And your love for each other makes me so happy!

*oh,before I forget,pee goes IN the bowl. Just in case you didn't know.

Love you boys so so much

Love mummy.

Things to come…

Imagine

what it will be like

when there is another one

to fold clothes for…

*yes I promised birthday pictures. But this is what I spent all day doing, so birthday pictures will wait until the weekend*

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Fatboys birthday started at 3:48AM!!!! So he had a grouchy,whingy birthday, and fell asleep before we got to the cake. We still love you little man, but now we are (all) going to bed! 

Oh, and see the sweat-beads on his nose? It was SO hot here today, I am not looking forward to summer,especially since I will be hippo-sized.*ok I just googled this- It was 36 degrees here today,which is about 96.8 degrees for you guys. Hot. And only going to get hotter.We are in the 3rd month of spring,summers going to be  a killer!

The last night….

That The Fatboy is one….

So much has happened since his 1st birthday!

This will be

The last year he is the baby

The last year he is not a big brother

(he will be an awesome big brother!)

 

So hard to believe!  Goodnight my sweet one year old. You make me smile every day:)

(also so hard to believe? That I will soon have another baby that teeny!)

I am loving …

Fatboys ‘zoooooooom’ face (thats the noise he makes while he does the face)

taking pictures of my expanding belly. (hubby asks - “Why are you taking so many photos, surely you know what you look like!”)

my crazy boy

 

my beautiful girls

my handsome hubby, who I have been with for 14 years!

banana caramel fudge tart….mmmmmmm

Pink,pink,pink:)

 

Perfectly content with life:) Now, if I could only stop throwing up!

Letter Of Intent

Yes Im late…again… so here goes, Im going to do this…

laugh if you will (especially since im already 2 behind haha)

Back to business..

Courtesy of Julie,here my letter of intent (only about  4 days late)

Dear people over the road,

Once again it is the weekend *… And for some reason the fact that it is the weekend means you are obligated to

a) get rip-roaring drunk

b) force the neighbourhood to listen to your awful music choice

c) screech laugh VERY loudly until at least 3am.

And dont get me wrong, its not like I dont enjoy the giggle I get watching the mailman (and yourself) poke the mail into your squashed-during-a-drunken-burnout-in-your-driveway mailbox. I admit that I did get a laugh out of watching your hubby shirtless and drunk trying to pick his motorbike up out of the ditch where it slipped out of his hands.

Maybe you have no furniture inside, and that is why you sit outside all night, whether its raining or freezing or whatever.

This letter makes me sound , I realise, like a complaining neighbour  but  surely the fact that after you moved in, 4 neighbours near you have since moved,says something.

Seriously, I do not mind partying. But could you possibly GO INDSIDE  YOUR HOUSE after say, 1am?

Thanking you,

one of your neighbours…

*it WAS the weekend when I wrote this:)

I really sound whiny! But oh well, I feel better,lol