Dear Bean

My dearest baby bean,

We have waited for you for so long. So many people have thought of you, and prayed for you. Now you are here, I feel beyond blessed. Today, you are 1 week old. Happy 1 week birthday my angel.

I never thought I would know the meaning of things like

Nasal gastric tube

bolous feeds

what your bpm and sr should be

what your ‘stats’ should be

what your bilirubin level is

your ‘gestational age’ in reference with your ‘lb age’

this is killing me. seriously. I am beyond tired, weepy and crying all day. Seeing you is so wonderful, I never thought I could just sit, and watch someone , for hours. Never thought taking your temperature, changing your  foot probe, changing nappies  and feeding you with a syringe down your NGT would make me so happy. Never thought I would be so very excited that you were weighed.

(she is now 3.9 pounds, down from 4.4 pounds. They have upped her feeds and today she started pentavite along with the caffeine she gets daily at 12pm)

But this is killing me. Leaving you, I always cry on the way home. I know I am not getting enough sleep, but there is no way around it. And tonight, with your Daddy back at work, I feel as though I am abandoning you.

Today, I held you for almost 45 minutes. You opened your eyes, those big blue eyes. You are so adorable, and placid, I cold hold you all day.

We should be reaching milestones now, your first smile, your first longer than 20 minute sleep. Instead your milestones are measured by increases in your feeds, the turning off of the blue lights, and weather or not your alarms are going off.

This is killing me. My milk now ‘lets down’ at the exact time of your feeds, even at home. The breastpump is a cold substitute.

You are 35 weeks on Saturday. Maybe, just maybe, I will be allowed to try and feed you. Last night, you tried to eat your hand as it brushed past your mouth. I was thrilled!

Bean, I want you to grow,eat,get fat. I want to bath you and dress you and photograph you. But mostly I want to hold you. To sing to you, to dance with you, to sleep with you beside me. Hurry up, beanie. I miss you.

love , Mummy.

Im in love with that little bean!

Day 5.

Today I am on a high. It hasn't been like this since she was born (I've been a mess) … Leaving her is the most awful feeling. But seeing her is perfection.

Eden is now on 28mls of milk every 2 1/2 hours. On day 2, she was on 3mls, so a huge achievement! She hasn't been weighed or bathed yet, she is still solely in the humidicrib, but i am getting  a little cuddle a day, and it is absolute bliss. Im hoping she will be in an open cot soon, and I can bath her and hold her…

Today I farmed the kids out and spent the whole day with her. I am home for dinner, then will go back up tonight. She has jaundice today, so will be under lights for 6 hours , but otherwise she is doing great!

I know she is doing so well because of all your love and prayers!

We can never thank you enough!!!

THE BEAN HAS ARRIVED

Eden Elizabeth was born Wednesday night, after a placental abruption and emergency c-section. She was 6 1/2 weeks early, and is in special care. I wanted to let you all know she is here, and safe, and perfect. I am home, and a wreck. I have lots of photos, but will be back to blog later. I have been home for 2 hours, and am now going back to the hospital to be with her. thankyou all so much for all your love and prayers during my pregnancy, i can never tell you how much it means to me and the bean.

This girl

As we prepare for our last baby girl, our first baby girl is about to turn 13.

My firstborn, we learnt everything along with her. A pair of teenagers who knew nothing, yet somehow we still managed to raise a beautiful, well mannered (well, mostly-except for those teen angst moments), oh-so-special girl.

Who I guess I will have to start calling a young lady:)

I love this girl so much.

Guess???

what

we

got

for

Christmas (and finally assembled)

* yep, im quiet again. Its school holidays here, and really hot, hubby has just had his holidays and i have been so busy with well, life! I am missing you all ( you know that right?) so much! Kimber, i am about ready to switch phone company's just so I can text you, its very frustrating! Heres hoping ill get some blogging time in 2 weeks, when I will only have 1 baby home!! (well for a month or so anyway)

Beanie girl is doing great, kicking my ribs and making me pee 500 times a night! My bag is packed full of pink things and i cant wait to finally meet my miracle girl:) I am 33 weeks tomorrow!!!

Happiness is in the mail

So, this morning was off to a bad start. For some reason, Luka has decided that he likes to be up at 4am. This was about the 4th morning in a row, and I was seriously tired and grouchy. LOVE changing nappies and wiping up spills at 4am!

I was tired, grouchy, and still in my pjs when i heard the mail lady beep her car horn.

And look what hubby brought inside!

 

Aaaaah, that explains why it took sooo long to get here! Maybe Quarantine suspected Kimber of something suspicious hahaha:)

Oh my, is that pink frills??

IS THAT REESES  ???!!!!

You bet it is, a giant bag, and the cutest snowflake pendant (you know I've never even seen snow!) which i am going to buy a chain for 1st thing tomorrow so I can wear it!

But, oh my, back to the frills!!

Kimber, I LOVE it!!! 

And i think the bean will look ADORABLE in it !!

Dont you agree??

 

THANKYOU

 

 

so much Kimber, you made my day/week/month !!

XOXO

 

*Now, its your turn for a package, lets hope quarantine doesn't keep it again:)*