Edens hospital timeline part 1

So here we are. Almost 15 months on and im finally blogging about Eden in SCN. Better late than never hey?

I have decided that i will blog this like a dairy,day by day, and ill chuck some stuff in from my actual diary that I kept at the time.

I might break it up into 2 parts as well, and a huge pat on the back if you manage to get through both!

I have wanted to blog this for ages, not just for you but for eden too. I love the idea that someday i can go, “look kids, heres my blog starting from 2005!”  But anyway, I digress…

20/1/2010 Eden Elizabeth arrives . You can read about her birth below this post!

21/1/2010 Day 1

“woken up every 2 hours for stats. Wake up at about 6am, the nurse tells me that there was an abruption, and a 300ml clot. She tells me “you were very lucky” After I see the doctors etc, get unconnected from everything, shower ( most humiliating moment of my life? being towel dried by a 18 yr old nurse, mumbling sorry about my legs, I thought I had 6 weeks to shave them)  I am taken to SCN. Eden is in the 3rd humidicrib,attached to a drip, on oxygen, a tiny scar on her cheek from the Cesar. Im afraid to even touch her.”

I started expressing that day, into a syringe. Eden is having 3mls every 2 hours, through the NG tube.

I was woken up at 1:10am, for my first cuddle. Eden is almost 29 hours old. I cry.10 amazing minutes.

Then i get to feed her through the NG tube for the first time. Cry again.

22/1/2010 Day 2

“Oxygen off, increasing feeds.Caffeine has been started for apnoeas, she has had a few, forgetting to breathe Im told. Kangaroo cuddle for half an hour, and yes, cried. again. Told Bean tonight so many people are praying for her. Also got to change my first nappy! whod have though id be thrilled by a nappy change ! Eden has such a tiny froggy bottom, her nappies are newborn, folded in half, still hanging off her!

23/1/2010 Day 3

“Im sent home with my giftbag and my orange breastmilk labels. But no baby.I scour the town for a  breastpump, and after hysterically crying at the 4th shop, I get a staff discount.(and it was still $200!) We go home, i eat, express, and despite not being allowed to drive for 6 weeks, i drive back to the hospital . When I finally get home again at about 11:30pm, I collapse in tears.

We live about 35 minutes away from the hospital, The drive is okay, mainly on the highway , only horrible when you get into town, living in the country gives me no patience for traffic lights.

24/1/2010 day 4

Bean keeps slipping out of her ID bands. Lynn put a new set on her today, so the old set has gone onto my camera bag, and onto pink dolly. She was started on Iron today, and Pentavite.. Simon came up today and had his second cuddle-the first being when she was born, he arrived back at the hospital to a new daughter and a doped up wife. I am jealous he got top hold her first, and hate that I missed the first 14 or so hours of her life. Hate that I didnt see her enter the world. Today is the worst day, crying in the nurses arms.

Also, this morning when the kids started back at school (with no books because I had to spend the book money on a breastpump and tanks of fuel) the principal told me that the school had gotten Dakota, Rani and Jais books, and to pay for them ‘whenever we are able’ . So Im sure that impressed the kids/parents, a hysterical woman sobbing her thanks to the teachers. People are really astounding me with kindness, i am forever grateful.

* I think moving here, getting the kids into this little country school ( they are in classes of about 13 compared to over 30 at their previous school) was one of the best decisions we ever made. People here just embraced us with love and assistance wholeheartedly.

25/1/2010 Day 5

Starting to get yellow.When i go up that night,she is under double lights for jaundice.

26/1/2010 Day 6

Australia Day. And the highlight is the free parking!!! Woo hoo!! When I see Eden, I decide today is ‘Day of the funky glasses’

Watching mothers come and go, I am happy for them, but jealous it isnt us.

The drive home has turned into therapy of sorts. After those first few days, I cheer myself up on the night drives home by blasting Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.

Man, I used to get so excited when the Carpark Full sign wasnt out! Like, pathetically excited. “ YES!!! YES!!! SWEET!!!”

27/1/2010 Day 7

1 week old today. Tolerating 32mls of breastmilk nicely, only throwing up her milk with the Pentavite in it. Doctors see her at lunchtime ( oooh sexy Dr Alberto- he makes all the nurses giggly) and decide to leave the lights off.

Day by day.

1 week down.

28/1/2010 Day 8

When I get to the hospital, I nearly walk past her. She is clean! She had her first spongedown at 2:30am, and was weighed for the second time. She is 1.77kgs ( 4 pounds)

29/1/2010 Day 9

Eden has lost another 20g.

At 6:15pm tonight, I was able to breastfeed for the first time. It took her a while , but she had about 15 minutes worth.

yes, again, cried. actually, sobbed.

30/1/2010 Day 10

Routine…

up,express,hospital,home,express,hospital,home,sleep.

Repeat daily

31/1/2010 Day 10

When I call SCN (every morning between 6 and 7) I am told Bean had a bottle!

She is still holding at 1750g, so fortifier has been started.

1/2/2010 Day 12

Bean gained 60g. Porker:)

2/2/2010 Day 13

Just another day (with two breastfeeds!!) when Debra announces its time for an open cot!Of course , all the gorgeous clothes I bought for her are miles too big, so she is dressed in scratchy ugly hospital clothes. But hey… OPEN COT!!!!!!

She has gained another 60g, and today was her last apnoea.

On the way home, I hit the shops, and buy 5 miniscule outfits and a jumper for a teddy bear that fits her perfectly! I love shopping but it feels so wrong to be shopping without her, shes not safe inside me and i dont have her in my arms.

you know, 13 is my lucky number!

 

Well, there, halfway done,stay tuned for part 2!

Dear Bean

*here is your waaaay overdue birthday post my love*

When i first realised you were there,snug inside me

I knew there was something truly special about the baby we had conceived.

You began to help us heal and grieve for Zoran.

I thanked God for you.

At 12 weeks

I thought we had lost you.

I didnt know if we would even get to meet you

I asked for help. I asked for people to pray.

People prayed for you.

For you.

Beautiful strangers showed us more kindness and love than I had ever known.

We, they, prayed for you.

That first ultrasound,me dying inside

fearing the unbearable news,

‘Theres bub,squirming  around’

hot tears of joy.

you were proving you were a survivor, a fighter, amazing.

I dared to hope

you were hanging on

I thought the worst was over.

At Christmas time,  

7 months pregnant

I used to lay in bed and stroke you through my skin.

I woke up before dawn every morning and lay in the bath with you, in the dark, the moon shining in the window, bathing you in light, the whole house silent, and felt like we were the only two awake in the world.

I got your baby clothes out of your drawers and pressed them to my nose almost everyday.

I wished we could share those moments forever.

33weeks 4 days

  you decided you couldnt wait.

on the 20th of january

at 3:57am

I woke up (thinking i had peed myself again)

I waddled to the toilet

cradling you with one hand

you oddly quiet

I looked down and saw blood. Lots and lots of blood,

I decided to drive myself to the hospital, made it as far as the Crossroads, and my waters broke.

I came home and called an ambulance.

I spent my first ever ambulance ride terrified I would lose you.

But

you were fine

fine all day

fine

while i lay

hooked up

contracting

hungry

(I crunched those ice cubes in defiance of the nurse telling me to suck them)

you were fine

until

daddy went home

then we almost lost you

your heartrate dropped

fast.

You were drowning in blood.

I still cant think about it. alarms,rushing,yelling,so many people running pushing us down to the OR, me pleading ‘please hurry’ while screaming in agony.

Morphine, out.

you were delivered by caesarean at 8:26pm. You had to be resuscitated. Twice.

On the 20th of January 2010

(no idea what time it was,sometime before midnight)

they wheeled me to your humidicrib in SCN ( I couldnt keep my eyes open, but i remember you had on a tiny purple beanie.)

you had  arrived

weighing a tiny 4 pounds 4 ounces (2.03kgs).

It was 12 hours before I saw you again.

Walking through the SCN doors,

I was led to your humidicrib,

too scared to open the ‘portholes’

I sat and stared at you

and whispered

“Hello Bean.”

Eden Elizabeth

you

completed our lives

taught us how to be strong, and positive

taught us some people truly are beautiful

taught us there is beauty in each and every day

showed us how blessed we are

showed us how much we were loved

showed us how much we were capable of

when I met you for the first time I knew you were amazing.

I knew you would change our lives.

Happy Birthday Eden Elizabeth.

 

I carried you then

ill carry you as long as you let me

One small step for Eden

Actually, it was a few small steps :)

 

and we were so proud of her!!

 

*in case youre wondering, this gorgeous dress is from Michelle at Spectacular Girl.This is my favourite dress, just begging for a ‘Tea party shoot’ dont you think?

I am completely obsessed with the Australian version of Etsy, Madeit.com , and all things handmade (just wait until you see Edens Easter present!)

Tutus on the beach

There's something about babies in tutus on the beach that makes me melt.

and even though she didnt start out in a tutu

and certainly didnt start out actually liking the beach….

it didnt take her long to remember shes a Queenslander

and start revelling in the feel of the sand between her toes

and her fingers :)

 

The weather was overcast,and after the beach we headed to the Mummy Tree Markets, Eden was spoilt rotten,as usual, amber necklaces from Bambeados, gorgeous bloomers from Wild Things of Noosa, super cute hair clippies and headbands from Amber J, an amazing tin tea set from Fairy-licious and Goblin Grunge, amazing stalls and amazing stuff, cant wait for the next one!

And after the markets, lunch, then the beach again! (we were at my sisters and she lives a street away from the beach)

 

this time, she loved it straight away.

 

And we broke out the tutu

*Yes, I know you cant see her head! But look at those chubby legs, and that saggy belly, so adorable!

You have to admit,there's something special about tutus on the beach.

Note to self…. always check the ISO settings before attempting family photos..

* here is a post I wrote ages ago, and didnt publish! Im doing it now, just because I love these photos. Also note we DID get flooded in after i had written this!*

 

Because there were some I absolutely loved

and some that were oh-so-cute

( the boys, loving on their baby sister, is just too cute for words!)

 

but mostly, they were way too bright ( obviously the first sunny day in a while, we didnt get flooded in (close!) but it has been a wet miserable Christmas) So, i guess thats a reminder, its not like ive ruined a whole photoshoot and had to do the whole thing again  ever done that before so surely ill never do it again ( cue laughter here)

I was a little bummed out, I love how they looked with the new wagon (Grandmas present to the boys) out of 156 photos, there was not a single one of all 6 kids I liked! And now, it being school holidays ( another reason to hate the rain, 6 kids stuck inside because the grass is too long because its too wet to mow, and the yard is all wet and muddy, and there is a tent and a Slip n Slide just waiting by the  back door –still in their boxes! I shouldnt complain, last year we were in a drought, and plenty of poor Queenslanders are flooded in, and being evacuated. Sigh. Queensland. Crazy weather!!) all the kids are gone or going out ( Cara is at the beach with her mate, Dakota, Rani and Jai are going to their grandmas) so I wont get to try again until the end of the week.

I am planning a surprise picnic on Friday, rain or shine. Ill be up all night cooking, luckily I got lots of practice over Christmas! Wanna know what we ate for Christmas lunch (remember, 19 people!!!)

pickled onions, cheese, kabana, chocolates, marinated peppers,olives,corn relish dip, chocolate balls (my mums speciality lol)….

Ham,turkey, roast pork, prawns, watermelon salad, tomato salad, normal salad (haha you know what I mean!) potato salad, pasta salad…..

Mango cheesecake, pavlova cheesecake, tiramisu, raspberry cheesecake, pavlova with mango and cherries and plum pudding…

Yep, thats why i put on 3kgs…. 

We started straw bale gardens! I saw it on MckMamas site, and the kids are loving it. The poor veggie patch was completely flooded, it was a total swamp for about a week, so Thursday we will replace the dirt and try it a bit higher up! In the meantime Rani and I got our straw bales going. We have radishes, beans, marigolds and watermelons. The radishes and beans have just begun to sprout, even the boys are excited!

( yay!! See our shed!!! Yay!!! –sorry but it sat in our garage in the box for exactly 14 months, so, again, YAY!!! and you can see the garden too, we dug it out, when we should have built it up, told you I am no gardener! All it has is a few hopeful beans, a rotten Pomato, and a dying pea)

We also have , out the front in big tubs, peas, basil, tomatoes, sunflowers and butter beans. And…. the kids and I are going to try a salad tower on the weekend so ill let you know how that goes!

Eden will be one in just a few weeks.

One

in a few weeks.

WHERE did the year go!! Unreal to think that this time last year, I had no idea she would arrive so soon.

This time last year she was safe (well kind of she didnt have the most relaxed time in there!) inside me.

This time last year i looked like

This time last year she was  The Bean

Now…

( damn ISO)

I know, you cant see her face, but come on! How cute is that!

Life has changed so much in a year.

Our family became 8.

And that tiny little girl with the head the size of an apple (really, ill have to photograph her first beanie, and the jumper she wore home from hospital – i got it at Pumpkin Patch. In the teddy bear clothes section!) showed us the important things.

The entire family is so in love with this girl.

Our tiny precious miracle

So ill be back, with her birth story (FINALLY!) and a letter to my precious daughter on her first birthday.

Woody, he’s part of the family

The absolute best Christmas present I bought last year was Woody.

Even though he is obsessed with Ben 10( and got the much coveted Omnitrix from Santa), Luka and Woody have been inseparable since Christmas morning.

Woody comes shopping with us, watches tv with us, sleeps with Luka, gets carted around in the dolly sling I made for that specific purpose, even eats with us

 

Hes looking a little the worse for wear, thats for sure, but  I always want to remember the most loved present Luka ever got, and the love between a little boy and his cowboy

January 2011

January will be forever in my mind.

The first we heard was Towoomba (about 45 minutes from us) had been smashed by a wall of water. In the main street. The water swept downstream, devastating all the towns that lay below. Grantham. My heart breaks.

We werent too worried. A lot of telephone calls between relatives and neighbors, thanking god that i was able to contact everyone, and so far everyone was ok.

We all received the sms from the government/ses telling us to evacuate. But we had 8 kids there, the water was over the road both ways, we werent going anywhere.

The water reached our back fence, and our side fence. Both our neighbours had water through their houses.

After it was over, we tried to get the girls friends home, before the water hit Ipswich. The whole area was just devastated. I have no idea how simon got the wagon over the roads.

Even more devastated when we heard that Jesse, little 4 year old Jesse had been swept away and lost. The kids all knew him. They lived just round the corner. They left when they got the same sms we did. It happened at their school. Broken hearts. So many.

Driving around (we did get the kids home, we ended up meeting some relatives of theirs,very complicated and lots of driving) we were just stunned. Our whole area has just been torn apart.

see that roof? We were just driving around in tears. Sobbing.

Our local shop. See the strip of road? Its from the opposite side of the road.

The school, thankfully opened on time,thanks to awesome blokes with a backhoe!

The kitchen of the house we helped clean. Poor Shell, it was so so awful, just awful.

Jais little mate from over the road moved into his new house with his mum 3 weeks ago. All they have left is the frame of their house.

Please pray people, for the lost, and for what everyone has lost. People have lost so much. I am so thankful we all were ok, and that we live in such an amazing area, everyone has just pulled together to do whatever they can.

So whatever youre doing, please send Queenslanders your love today.