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Thursday, September 10, 2009


Im still here. With more excuses as to why I havent been here… Still preggers. 16weeks and 1 day to be exact. Still bleeding. And when I say bleeding, I mean literally pouring blood sometimes… I so want to be happy, excited, blogging about the bean every day, but just cannot relax. Aaaah bean,  I want you so badly, must you scare me this much?? And i think because I lost my last baby at about this stage, I am walking on eggshells even more so. 


((and so far my least   fave comment when announcing my pregnancy??? “Oh No” Its comments like that that make me so ANGRY /DEPRESSED. WHY would you say that????))

Anyway, Im starting over.. the amount of blogs I have to catch up on is overwhelming, and at the moment i just want to curl up with my babies not answer the phone, or even turn the computer on. Which in turn, makes me feel guilty. So ill just start from today… and please know that all of you mean so much to me, your comments and prayers, i guess i feel like ill be jinxing the bean if I talk about him/her.

I have another ultrasound next week, I have been to the doctor, who assured me that the bleeding cant hurt the bean, but how can I be excited about being pregnant when Im still constantly buying pads?

Kimber, i miss you, and will email you later ..  I am an awful awful other side of the world friend, i am so self involved/bean involved at the moment, but I am thinking of you often. xxx

In other, non-bean/ depressed me news, the boys and I just got back from Darwin, a visit to Jais beloved godfather, and my gorgeous mate, Jacob.. I needed the break, and have many photos to blog later. And only spent 80% of the time bleeding, and only 1 night crying ( thanks for listening Jake) …

So there it is, more excuses. If you are a new follower, please introduce yourself (again) and ill follow you too, and my old faithful followers, i hope you can understand.. I truly was dreaming about getting pregnant and blogging it all, but its not the final, dream, trouble free pregnancy I envisioned.