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Saturday, June 13, 2009

In which I profess to be far from perfect.

 

And I am definitely not. perfect that is. Not that I ever claimed i was! The question i am most asked is “how do you do it?” You wanna know the answer?

I don't know. I just do it.

Having 5 kids is not easy. But neither is having 1 ! I think i struggled more with just 1 than now with all 5. As I got older, I became more relaxed, and more confident as a mum. And now, well you know what? I may not be in a high paid position, or seeing the world (or even working in any sort of paid job at the moment) but I LOVE my job, and I'm doing the best job i possibly can.

Not that I'm saying I'm a perfect supermum, far from it. Most days I'm in my dressing gown until lunchtime, I'm screaming at the kids all the time ( mostly just to be heard over the constant roar that is my house), and there are days I just wanna scream “ BE QUIET AND LEAVE ME ALONE” ( ever tried to go to the toilet with a kid on your lap, 1 screaming at your feet and 2 more banging on the door that the screaming one shut but cant open? No, well, take my word for it, its not fun) but not a day goes by where there is not some moment, a tiny thing, like a note from the  2nd born, or a hug (gasp) from the elusive pre-teen,or that cheeky grin from #3, or a dead ant from the big boy, or watching the 18 month old dance, to remind  me that i have been blessed to be given the honour of being their mum. And on bad days, all I can do is tell them I love them, always, and promise myself Ill do better tomorrow.

Yes, we struggle on one wage. We have always struggled. I have been a SAHM since I was 16, I have had (4) part time jobs over the last 10 years, but just couldn't do it. When I was working, I was too exhausted to be the mother I wanted to be. So we made that decision. I don't think my kids miss out on much, and hubby has always worked very hard to support us. He has been at his job for 10 years, and its good to have the security, but yes, when we spend $225 (Australian) on food a week, struggling is a reality (hence the crapped out cars we drive ,lol)

Another struggle has been PND. I have had depression since I was 15. The only advice my doctor can give me is “ Give up breastfeeding, and go back on your medication” Which, as I would like to have another baby in the near future, seems pointless. Oddly enough, taking photos helps me. Since I have started photography, I appreciate the small things so much more. So I will go out in the yard with the kids, kick the ball round, sit on the grass and photograph my beautiful, amazing, talented,  strong-willed, crazy,loving babies. And feel so happy:)

Blogging has become my journal, complete with pictures! I always wrote when I was a teenager, but after an ‘incident’ which I may go into later, I never did again. But now, I can combine my journal with  my pictures, which i LOVE! And I love my friends I have made on here, and reading your comments, knowing that virtual strangers think my photos are good, makes me happier than you would know:) (And Im almost peeing my pants that I have 50 followers-happy dance, happy dance)

Ummm, not sure why Ive gone with the long rant post tonight. Im tired and emotional,need a time out:)

Wait…

I forgot something…

Its coming to me…

Oh yeah…

babylegs

Didn't think you'd escape the babylegs did you?

And just because she's beautiful, and has gone to her first high school dance, and I'm so excited and proud..mulletman

And I look a bit awful, but my eyes are open. Oh yes, i have eyes:)

Since I've gone nutso tonight, anything else you wanna know? Ask away!

Ps. Thanks, my followers, and commenters,and friends, you make me smile everyday:)

13 comments:

Alicia W. said...

None of us are perfect! Hell, I came into work this morning to get some MUCH NEEDED overtime and I'm wearing the same clothes I had on last night.. lol. Screw it!

I think you do a fabulous job as a mom and you describe it realisticly and honest on your blog. So glad I found your blog because I'm loving fat boy's legs! LOL

P.S Saw your tweet - LOVE that your reading twilight! I'm on the 4th book.. YOUR GOING TO LOVE IT!

{Kimber} said...

I admit it...I got chill bumps from your post :)
I for one love seeing in my blog I follow window that you posted something new {stalker in me}
I think it is so cool to have a "friend" in Australia and the fact that you are awesome makes it all the better! so getting to read YOUR{and others} is a release for me!
I have twitter...I will find you today and start to follow you!
I'm SOOOO excited you started Twilight...where are you in the story?
The books are WAYYYYY more awesome than the movie ever could be {but still watch it--after you are done}
longest comment in history--goes to this girl right here!

Staci said...

I've come to the reality that I'll never even be close to perfect, but I can try to be happy, and keep my little one happy. And that's good enough.

By the way, you always have the best photos!

Stone Fox said...

I think you are: awesome.

I love the pics of your kids and especially that you call your little boy Fatguy. I wish I had thought of that.

It is amazing that you ONLY spend $225 a week (I think that is close to $225 canadian dollars, isn't it?) on groceries. My best friend has 6 kids and they routinely spend $300 - $400 a week.

Your pictures and stories are fantastic. BTW, I have gone pee with a baby in my lap, another running around the bathroom, and a third knocking on the door. It IS as fun as you say!!

BoufMom9 said...

I have to say, your post rang so true in my heart. Your outlook on your life is so similar to mine (we can't be perfect, but we can certainly enjoy most moments in our lives, can't we?!?)

I too find great comfort in photography and love to share it with people and how wonderful to have someone tell me they appreciate it.

ps Those baby legs are too cute for words!

Brandi said...

I love the baby legs! And your daughter is very beautiful!

Where do you find all the cute leggings? I will be in need of some soon if the wheather doesnt' ever straigten up here! And for next winter for sure so my little one can wear some cute dresses without freezing!

A little piece of 7th heaven said...

Thanks for sharing...I agree with you..Not one person's life is perfect...You just make do...find the good in the little things...and seek pleasure from them.
It is a personal decision..and when life hands you lemons..be sure to make lemondade{big grin}
Annmarie

crazymaisey said...

What a wonderful post. You`ve summed up a lot of me in there, and no doubt many other mums.
You`re doing a fantastic job and you are a wonderful mother.
Thankyou for sharing.
big hugs, crazy xxx

Foursons said...

I agree, that sometimes it is easier to have more kids than just 1 single kiddo. It certainly makes life more interesting anyways! I'm glad you found an outlet that helps since medication is not an option right now. I turned to journeling when my dad and MIL both passed away in April 2008. The pills + the journaling + counseling helped me push through. ALWAYS good to have an outlet!

Foursons said...

I presented you an award on my blog!

ck said...

I love your photographs. Your family is beautiful anyway, but I think it's your vision and ability to capture them that takes your images from pictures to professional.

(PS: going to the bathroom at my house is rediculous too. I'm just afraid that by the time they leave me alone and allow me to have "space" I won't be able to go!)

♥Lisa♥ @ FinalScore:Boys3Girls2 said...

awww, she's Presh!

CailinMarie said...

I loved that post. I stop to kiss a 4 yr old boo-boo and wonder how I can score a plane ticket across the ocean so I can show up at your house with a batch of chocolate chip cookies and we can have a cup of coffee...