In which I profess to be far from perfect.

 

And I am definitely not. perfect that is. Not that I ever claimed i was! The question i am most asked is “how do you do it?” You wanna know the answer?

I don't know. I just do it.

Having 5 kids is not easy. But neither is having 1 ! I think i struggled more with just 1 than now with all 5. As I got older, I became more relaxed, and more confident as a mum. And now, well you know what? I may not be in a high paid position, or seeing the world (or even working in any sort of paid job at the moment) but I LOVE my job, and I'm doing the best job i possibly can.

Not that I'm saying I'm a perfect supermum, far from it. Most days I'm in my dressing gown until lunchtime, I'm screaming at the kids all the time ( mostly just to be heard over the constant roar that is my house), and there are days I just wanna scream “ BE QUIET AND LEAVE ME ALONE” ( ever tried to go to the toilet with a kid on your lap, 1 screaming at your feet and 2 more banging on the door that the screaming one shut but cant open? No, well, take my word for it, its not fun) but not a day goes by where there is not some moment, a tiny thing, like a note from the  2nd born, or a hug (gasp) from the elusive pre-teen,or that cheeky grin from #3, or a dead ant from the big boy, or watching the 18 month old dance, to remind  me that i have been blessed to be given the honour of being their mum. And on bad days, all I can do is tell them I love them, always, and promise myself Ill do better tomorrow.

Yes, we struggle on one wage. We have always struggled. I have been a SAHM since I was 16, I have had (4) part time jobs over the last 10 years, but just couldn't do it. When I was working, I was too exhausted to be the mother I wanted to be. So we made that decision. I don't think my kids miss out on much, and hubby has always worked very hard to support us. He has been at his job for 10 years, and its good to have the security, but yes, when we spend $225 (Australian) on food a week, struggling is a reality (hence the crapped out cars we drive ,lol)

Another struggle has been PND. I have had depression since I was 15. The only advice my doctor can give me is “ Give up breastfeeding, and go back on your medication” Which, as I would like to have another baby in the near future, seems pointless. Oddly enough, taking photos helps me. Since I have started photography, I appreciate the small things so much more. So I will go out in the yard with the kids, kick the ball round, sit on the grass and photograph my beautiful, amazing, talented,  strong-willed, crazy,loving babies. And feel so happy:)

Blogging has become my journal, complete with pictures! I always wrote when I was a teenager, but after an ‘incident’ which I may go into later, I never did again. But now, I can combine my journal with  my pictures, which i LOVE! And I love my friends I have made on here, and reading your comments, knowing that virtual strangers think my photos are good, makes me happier than you would know:) (And Im almost peeing my pants that I have 50 followers-happy dance, happy dance)

Ummm, not sure why Ive gone with the long rant post tonight. Im tired and emotional,need a time out:)

Wait…

I forgot something…

Its coming to me…

Oh yeah…

Didn't think you'd escape the babylegs did you?

And just because she's beautiful, and has gone to her first high school dance, and I'm so excited and proud..

And I look a bit awful, but my eyes are open. Oh yes, i have eyes:)

Since I've gone nutso tonight, anything else you wanna know? Ask away!

Ps. Thanks, my followers, and commenters,and friends, you make me smile everyday:)